One of my weirder writing efforts.....

A while back our Leeds Savages writing group meeting somehow descended into a conversation around Lionel Richie and his (frankly legendary) video for 'Hello'. If you haven't seen it, I implore you to visit you tube straight away to check it out - its a real tour de force, with the clay head being an artistic triumph, and the romantic arc up there with Shakespeare's finest.

Anyhow, following on from that particular session I decided, for reasons largely unknown, that I'd write something inspired by the great man himself. The theme for the next writing group meet was Endurance, and somehow I even managed to make it vaguely own topic. It also served as a leaving 'gift' for Glen, a much loved member of the group who has now left us to pursue a writing degree down in the sunny south. He'd probably have preferred chocolates but hey, it was more original!

Lyrical genius or a sign of madness? You decide.....

Ps - there are a whopping 58 Lionel Richie song titles in this poem - who knew he was so prolific?

Endurance (an ode to Lionel Richie)

At first she was just a Face in the crowd                                                  

An Ordinary Girl, a Wandering Stranger                                                  

And you were barely more than a boy

And happy to be a lone ranger

You were Running With the Night                                                                  

Life one long Outrageous dance                                                                    

All Night Long you'd go Round and Round                                                

If only you'd had the chance

Then that Ballerina Girl twirled into your path                                          

And suddenly, Nothing Else Matters                                                           

She's Amazing, The Only One, The Sun and the moon                          

And with  one Touch, every other dream shatters.                                

All that's gone before feels like Wasted Time                                           

But little do you know

That Love, Oh Love, is the hardest climb                                                    

And you've such a Long Long Way to Go                                                   

You Say I Do, dreaming of Endless Love                                                   

Proclaim, "Truly, Baby, This is Forever                                                     

This girl can Do it to me for Eternity                                                          

And I won't get bored, not ever

I want to Shout it to the world, how I'm Stuck on you                            

You're the Closest thing to heaven I know                                                

I've been Into you deep Forever and a day                                                

From the first moment that you said 'Hello'"                                             

Together you Keep on Dancing                                                                     

Still In Love with five years gone                                                                   

You might no longer be Up All Night                                                             

But your Love Canoe Sail's On                                                                     

It's not all Paradise but you both believe                                                    

That Love Will Conquer All                                                                              

It's a feat of endurance, climbing long and hard                                      

And you're determined not to fall

But Time brings Changes, and each Change makes                             

You begin to think again

Your Angel's halo is looking tarnished these days                                 

Is my destiny a ball and chain?                                                                     

Mid-life crisis, seven year itch, call it what you will                               

Your Lady has been nothing but good to you                                           

But you'd risk it all for one cheap thrill

She had no Reason to Believe                                                                            

That her man was anything but true

But Now You're Gone,  Nothing left to give                                                  

Time to Stand Down, bid Goodbye, shout F*** You!                                 

And now Cinderella goes Running Through the Night                              

Whilst You Are Truly alone - and it Serves You Right.                             

Secrets

Went to my first writing group meeting in a while tonight - illness and other commitments having kept me away for a while. Heard some fantastic contributions (Doug in particular entertaining the room with a brilliantly funny / unrepeatably rude story on the assigned topic of 'Unacceptable Behaviour'), I know I've said this before but it really is always a pleasure to get the chance to hear a wide range of creative, original pieces. The styles and themes are so diverse but they all have one thing in common - guaranteed entertainment.

I read out a piece I wrote for the meeting a few weeks ago on the theme of 'Secrets' which I unfortunately missed. Will be missing a few more sessions going forward due to a combination of business and pleasure (holidays are coming!), but will try to get some writing in if I can in between the travels.... Hopefully they might even provide some much wanted inspirational!




SECRETS

Weddings and funerals may represent somewhat different rites of passage but, unless you're one of the major players, the experience of attending them is often pretty similar.

The location, for a start. I know that plenty of couples don't do the whole church thing anymore, but it's still been the setting of choice for most of my acquaintances nuptials.  The cliched script, the air of celebration, sometimes genuine perhaps, but frequently forced. "We are gathered here to celebrate the life of Mr X..." - bit bloody late now that he's shuffled off this mortal coil. It would have surely been better if the assembled group of family, friends and professional mourners had made the effort to visit him and show their appreciation before his ticker gave in. 

Weddings are much the same. Everyone spouting congratulations and best wishes, pretending to be delighted and telling the happy couple that they're going to live happily ever after when half the time they're actually thinking quite the opposite. 

Looking round the room today I can tell its definitely one of those days when it's what goes unsaid which really counts. I don't need to be a mind reader to know that probably pretty much every other mind in the room is whirring just like mine, turning over the same thoughts. "It'll never last"."Can't believe they're actually going to go through with this". "What the hell does she see in him?"

The blushing bride is my niece Kelly. Twenty four years old with a whole life of endless opportunities spread out before her and what does she choose to do? Marry an obese, thrice divorced man of fifty eight who has somehow persuaded, charmed, cajoled, or hypnotised her into becoming his next wife. I wonder how many of the other guests are similarly taking twisted comfort in the fact that with his vast weight and 40 a day habit she's unlikely to have to endure many years with him. In spite of it all, the smile on her face seems genuine. Maybe this really is love. What would I know anyhow, a thirty nine year old spinster? I can see why, given the opportunity, Henry, or any other man in his shoes, would pick a lovely young thing like our Kel above someone like me. Maybe I'm just jealous - actually no, scrap that, I'm definitely not jealous. The thought of seeing all 20+ stone of Henry naked frankly turns my stomach. I'd rather be resigned to a life of a celibacy than stoop quite that low. 

Don't get me wrong, there have been men over the years, not many granted, but more than enough to use the plural. None of them were quite George Clooney, but at the time they were kind to me, and I in return to them, and surely that's more important than looks anyhow. Mutual kindness, and honesty, those are what make the difference between a mere arrangement (there have been a couple of them too, but I concluded long ago that i'm not cut out for such things) and a proper relationship.

Stood at the front of the church alongside the soon to be wed couple, my sister Sian looks outwardly very happy. Who knows, maybe she actually is, or the pride she feels at seeing her little girl stood there all grown up into a truly beautiful woman outweighs any reservations she has at the actual match. Sian is the oldest of us five, with a full fifteen years on me, although you'd struggle to tell given the lines on my face these days. She clearly got the better genes, not just in terms of appearance but in her general ability to succeed in life no matter what life threw at her. Growing up she always did things properly, didn't rock the boat. Decent grades at school led to a good job in the bank, a shiny car, a lovely house. Yes her marriage had failed, but you couldn't meet a better model example of single parenthood. 

As Henry brushes sweat away from his furrowed brow Kel's loving fixation on his ruddy face doesn't waver for so much as a second. Again my mind begins to ponder with fascination what everyone else is making of this scene. Every guest will no doubt be aware that Kel's Dad has been absent throughout her entire life, and the cliched expression 'looking for a father figure' has no doubt been uttered by many of the lips that are now murdering that wedding staple 'Love Divine'.  With Adrian having made it clear from the start that he didn't want kids, Sian had initially resigned herself to the fact that her family would not be expanding. He was everything to her, and if that sacrifice was what it would take to keep him then so be it. They had been married for almost ten years when circumstances forced Sian to reconsider her decision. Faced with the tangible reality of a swelling belly in front of her, she realised that she could not face the thought of spending the rest of her life without becoming a mother. True to his word, Adrian packed his bags,  and other than some brusque correspondence via lawyers she never heard from him again.

"Lost in wonder, love and praise..."

The hymn draws to an end and the actual marriage business commences. I've heard these words plenty of times before but never have they made me feel quite this way. 

"To have and to hold, from this day forward"

I'm not normally on speaking terms with God these days but as Henry repeats the vows back to Kelly I can't help but say a silent prayer hoping that this time Kelly, having grown up under the shadow of abandonment, has found a man who will genuinely be there for her no matter what. An anti-Adrian, you might say.

"For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer."

For all his faults it does seem heartfelt. I wish that I had had the chance to say the same thing, so many years ago. Every day passes with that void remaining unfilled, the consequences of those choices so long ago always weighing heavy.

It wasn't necessarily that I didn't want others to know, more that I was scared of what I would do, how I would feel, if I were to acknowledge the truth to myself. I sometimes worry that secrets are like bad smells, and that eventually they will seep out no matter how much you try to hide them. But today, today I'm just a bit player, the maiden aunt a shadow hanging around the periphery of everyone else's happiness. And as Kelly is officially declared Mrs Henry Griffiths, and receives that first awkward kiss to the forced whoops and hollers of the congregation, I will the daughter who has no idea of her true parentage to know that no matter what, she will always be my everything, and more.

"To love and to cherish, til death do us part." My girl, the girl I gave away, given away again.