Lady Icarus

A poem written for a Leeds Savages writing task with the theme of 'artificial'

LADY ICARUS


A little larger, perhaps, a little higher, perhaps
A little firmer, perhaps, a little rounder, perhaps
A little more like someone else
A little less like me
As little more than ordinary
Is the very worst thing to be

When you’re paying for perfection
There’s no point in second best
Take my money my soul my innocence
And give me a super pneumatic chest

My ma said count your blessings
But I was never blessed
With anything more than an ironing board
Two bee stings at the best

My ma said it’s how God made you
It’s how you were meant to be
Easy for you to say, I said
As an ample Double D.

Lift me shape me just remake me
A nip and a tuck so the boys will rate me
A little more like a glamour girl
A little less like me
Going under the knife to sculpt a new life
Make me the best that I can be.

My ma said don’t you dare forget
The place from which you came
Fear not, I said, I’m still the same girl
Just with better teeth and a more memorable name

Money might not buy you happiness
But it does buy real nice things.
And I know one day I’ll fly from here
With a pair of silicon wings.

Poem - 'A Tragicomedy'

This poem was written for a Leeds Savages writing group task with the theme 'Alcohol'.
Always fun to bring out the rhyming couplets....


A Tragicomedy


Chardonnay, Shiraz, WKD Blue,
Pint of Stella, Jagermeister, Lemonade and Taboo
She isn’t fussed by the taste, just chasing the sensation
Leaving responsibility behind for a night of libation
When she slaps on the warpaint, fake lashes, high heels
It’s not about the look but the way that she feels
She warms up with vodka so she won’t feel the cold
As she waits at the bus stop for the night to unfold

She likes a Malibu, Southern Comfort, that schnapps made of peach
A Woo Woo, a Cosmo, then Sex on the Beach
She knows no better way to forget all her troubles
Than a bright pink concoction with a cherry and bubbles
Dancing shoes buckled on and she’s ready to move
Hit the floor, wild abandon whatever the groove
She won’t give a damn what anyone thinks
As long as the barman keeps pouring the drinks

Closing time brings an exodus to the nearest cab rank
Girls competitively analysing how much they drank
She sidles up to him wide-eyed in the endless queue
“I love you” she says, “I really, really do”
“My feet hurt like hell and I barely can walk
Just let me hold you for a while, there’s no need to talk”
Yet this tall strong beau is immune to her charms
For you won’t get many kisses with a lamppost in your arms...

Elvis....

I haven't had time to write much over the past couple of weeks - have had numerous musical rehearsals and performances, been to the theatre to see Hairspray (great fun!) and been generally busy, though am promising myself that i'll get pen to paper for a few hours this weekend....

Here's a poem I wrote for the most recent Leeds Savages (http://www.leedssavage.com/) writing group; the task was to write something about or inspired by Elvis, and I decided to write a light poem featuring the titles of twenty of 'The King's' singles....


ELVIS



'I wish' she cried, 'you were more like Elvis
With those twinkly eyes and that exquisite pelvis
The way he moved got me 'all shook up', from my heart down to my thighs,
As I’d sigh and swoon to each sex soaked tune, Ma called him the 'devil in disguise'

I wonder if she knew that when I kissed my 'teddy bear'
I was dreaming of stroking those skin-tight jeans and running my fingers through his hair
But darling, those muddy trainers, well they’re hardly ‘blue suede shoes’
And that sorry attempt at a goatee beard I find quite hard to excuse

That awful shirt that you somehow adore I’d like to ‘return to sender’
You used to have taste, where did it all go wrong? And you used to be so slender....
I miss that hunk of ‘burning love’, I don’t want us to go our ‘separate ways’
But sometimes I wonder if you’re still that boy whose heart I set ablaze.

So if you really ‘love me’, if you want us to stay together,
Then baby show me a ‘good rockin’ tonight’, I swear ‘its now or never’.
He looked at her and gave a smile
‘I’m sorry I can’t compete with Mr Presley’s style

But from the first day that I met you, you were ‘always on my mind’
You set alight my ‘wooden heart’, put my lonesome days behind
I followed you round like a ‘hound dog’, all panting tongue and wagging tail
And at night would pen you ‘love letters’ that I would never ever mail

I hoped for a ‘little less conversation’ when we went on our first date
But you were always a ‘hard headed woman’ and you made this ‘poor boy’ wait
There was 'crying in the chapel' on the day that we were wed
All I could think of was the 'wonder of you' and how I couldn't wait to get you to bed.

But if you no longer 'love me tender', if I fail to give you thrills,
Then I'll put on a sparkly jumpsuit, knock back some pies and prescription pills
I'll be surrounded by girls less than half my age, they'd sell their souls just to hear me sing
But have no fear, for you, my dear, are the only one who’ll ever rock this King.’

A Very Savage Affair

Today is an exciting day as it marks the publication of the first Leeds Savages e-book, 'A Very Savage Affair'. The Leeds Savages are a modern day reincarnation of a group of writers, artists, musicians and 'kindred Bohemian spirits' first formed in 1898 and since their re-launch in early 2010 have been coming together to produce and share all kinds of creative works.

The e-book contains....

55 Pages
59 Fabulous pictures
17 Great stories
6 Stupendous Poems
1 Fiendishly hard crossword

and is completely free of charge! I urge anyone and everyone to download it and check out the diverse and original works by some very talented people (plus a couple that I threw together).
 
Download the e-book NOW at http://leedssavage.com/publications/ - you won't regret it!

Writing.....

I didn't get the chance to write a Fridayflash short story last week but have just put the finishing touches to next week's contribution - watch out for the dreadful pun in the title!

In the meantime, here's a somewhat daft poem that I wrote for the most recent Leeds Writers Group meeting. The brief was to write a piece with a theme of Resurrection / Second Life. I think that this poem probably works best read out loud - imagine the narrator as a world weary woman of a certain age entering a new chapter in her life....



Resurrection

“It’s been a while”, she said, and sighed
“Since I walked down the aisle, a virgin bride
Full of hopes, and dreams, and wishes
Far more exotic than ironing and washing the dishes;
Darning his socks and cooking his tea
The original goddess of domesticity.
Dreams of adventure quickly faded with three mouths to feed
And yet, I was happy, he gave me all I could need
I felt like I’d found my vocation in life
I was born to be a mother, born to be a wife
He would always protect me, of that I had no fear
Until that day - that fateful day! - when he gave me gonorrhoea...

I’d been blind within my romantic bubble
Ignored the signs that the man was trouble
Those late nights at work, those anonymous calls
I never questioned his life beyond our four walls
My friends asked with disbelief ‘Did you not suspect a thing?
When he’d ‘accidentally’ leave the house without his wedding ring?
When he started dressing smartly, when he bought a new cologne
When you found a blonde hair in the wash you knew was not your own?’
In the bedroom there were no clues, I saw no changes in his habits
Although after several decades of marriage we weren’t at it like rabbits
The end, when it came, was swift as could be,
Infidelity I may have forgiven, but not that STD...

I climbed into the attic and retrieved from a case
That once loved confection of satin and lace
Ripped apart each and every yellowing thread
A sacrificial ritual for that marriage now dead
Oh, if I could turn the clock back twenty odd years
I could save that virgin bride a tsunami of tears
Yet I would not choose to have lived without this pain
For the greatest benefit of death is the chance to be born again
Yes, my husband’s blatant disregard for protection
Has led to this red-blooded woman’s resurrection
Out of the darkness shines a fierce burning light
And thanks to him, if I’m lucky, I’ll be on fire tonight....